If you truly appreciate the goodness of cheese, you shall not be constipated.

Either that, or pants.

This reminds me of the year 1962..........oh, wait a second, was I alive then? No, I wasn't. Darn it. I wish I was.

Anyway, this reminds me of the year 1962..........I woke up one fine morning, in 1962, to find that it was in fact 2000. So, my mind being boggled by the weirdness of it, I went to the sewer to watch the giant crocodiles being burned alive by my Molotov tails. Then I remembered that I was never alive in 1962, so I stopped immolating crocodiles and went to the candy store and asked if they had any blueprints for nuclear warheads. I still don't know why I said that. Anyway, back to 1962. The shop keeper gave me a very strange look. He then followed to pull out a herring from under the counter and shout, "The Canadians are coming!!! The Canadians are coming!!!!!" He suddenly smacked me in the face with the herring, then pulled out some sort of hypodermic needle from his pocket and stabbed me with it. I suddenly felt very dizzy, and I woke up in an insane asylum. NAH just kidding. I really just turned myself in to an insane asylum and acted insane to have access to their delicious doors. Mmmmmmmm.......doors. Anyway, here are some tips to protect yourself from those pesky Canadians: 1)Act like them. Blend in with them, saying "eh" after everything, and eating crocodiles out of the sewers. Then, when they least expect it, run through their Canadian streets yelling, "For the Motherland!!!!!". This is the secret signal I told Stalin all those many years ago.......ahem. The canadians will all pull out SMGs from their manpurses and shoot the %$#@ out of you. This will cause a chemical reaction and all the Canadians will burst into flame. By doing this, you will save the Earth from the Canadian tyranny. 2) What was I talking about? It must have been cheese. Yeah, cheese. Then take three egg whites and mix them in, and voila, a Molotav tail. Thanks for watching Happy Flames. Tune in next week for some more ways to set things on fire!!!!!!!!!

I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, anyway, back in 1962, the insane asylum story:    Ah, The Happy Home for Precipitous Zombies. All the attendents were fish, clown, things. At least i think they were. They gave me happy pills every day(those things were delicious), and that was the time that I came to know the wall beside me. I had no one to talk to, so I just started laughing maniacly. A few days of laughing later, the wall was like "Dude, stop laughing. It's driving me crazy." I stopped. I went crosseyed for a while trying to figure out what just happened. Then I realized that the wall just talked. So we chatted for a while, and eventually the wall tried to give me the change for my purchase. I told him to keep it. He refused. I told him to keep it. Anyway, i'll have to finish this later.