Advice is great. Advice helps you make major life decisions, like what to eat for lunch.

But let's face it; if you need Advice to wear gloves when making an authentic wreath, chances are that you are far too stupid to properly use Advice given to you in the first place.

For this cause, I ask that Advice Guy make something like, "Taking Advice for Dummies," better yet, I'll do it.


A major item of importance when taking Advice is to LISTEN. Yes, you should turn off that stereo when the police advize you to take shelter because of very recent (like, two minutes ago) and local terrorist attacks.

You really should also use what little intelligence you have to *understand* Advice given to you. When you are told to wear sunblock, that does not mean attack Canada (a little aside to my syrup-hating brethren, the invasion begins next-week. We march on Niagra!!).

You should also use what you learn from taking Advice in future escapades (or nightmares, but sunblock won't do much good when giant evil sofas are attacking your house). Taking Advice does not do you any good if you don't store it away and us it in the future. Here is a good example:

Bob- Oh my GOD!!!!! Martians are attacking by slowly weakening gravity until we humans float off into space and die due to lack of oxygen, freezing cold, and raw solar waves!

Suzan- Never look directly into the sun!

See, all the martian problem were quickly resolved.

Thank you, and if you had trouble understanding this, read my soon-to-be-posted, "How to read Advice for Taking Advice for Dummies, and by Dummies, I mean complete imbeciles!!!!!!!!"