Advice Thread -

AdviceGuy · Date: Jun 1, 2006

Advice Thread

AdviceGuy · Date: Jun 10, 2006

Back in my day…

I tell you young hooligans, back in my day we didn’t have as you do nowadays. We had it rough, and as a result we were tough. Nowadays with your gadgets and your widgets and your shiny things you are all sissies. I tell back in my day we had to walk all the way to the bus stop, uphills and over glaciers. I had to walk all the way to the bus stop and get there one time too.

The schoolhouse was just down the street. If you looked down the street you would see it. It was mile or two away, course back in those days we used nautical miles for everything which are different from statue miles which are different from Lawrence miles.

The schoolhouse really close by, you’d see it if you look down the street, you look and there it was, but the bus stop was in Kenya. Never really understood that but I went to the bus stop all the same. So the bus stop was in Kenya which is in Africa which at that time was still connected to South America which was of course part of the British Empire. Now you have to remember that at this time the American Revolution was still going on, course it was officially over but the British were still mad because we invaded them.

Of course we had to still get to our bus stop, in Kenya, to get to school to get our learning. So we had to walk all the way down to New Mexico, then to Mexico, and after that to Old Mexico. Then after that, we passed through war-torn Bosnia and The Really Old Mexican Republic (ROMP) before finally getting to South America.

AdviceGuy · Date: Jun 17, 2006

Hey, everyone

I'm interupting these ravings from an old man to bring you and imporant announcment.

While riding a motorcycle out of a plate glass window looks really awesome it is not nearly as fun to expierence it. I was riding a motorcycle through the second floor of an office building (it is a lot harder to ride a motorcycle upstairs than it seems) in order to have something to do. I took a tight turn and hit my head on the wall of an office. During the 3 tenths of a second it took me to recover, the motorcycle went forward and sideswiped somekind of oranmental stone stand. It was a block what looked like solid granite with the veins and everything. Well, i went fly through a plate glass window and, well, it did look pretty awesome.

As i was falling i looked up and noticed the motorcycle coming after me. It turns out it had enough momentum to follow me like a faithful, blundering pet. Anyways, i managed to land of somebody rather soft, it turns out morbidly obese people do have a function. I got quite bruised but luckily nothing was broken. Nothing was broken in me anyway, the fat guy was probably rather injured. The motorcycle landed, but it didn't explode, it just caught on fire and crumpled.

Well i went home and manufactured an alibi if the police somehow link this to me. I got cut pretty badly and have to put your sissy concertrations of Iodine of myself. I can't beilieve america has such weak antibacterial solutions. The iodine is not even black it just kind of yellowish. I need to increase the concertration somehow, maybe evaportation would work.

The lesson here is probably, always were a helmut. If i hadn't worn a helmut the police would be able to identify me. And I guess I would probably have deep cuts of my head, but thats not important.

-- Edited by AdviceGuy at 19:32, 2006-06-17